Love or Arranged : Its all arranged by Him

Gone are the ages where love was at its purest ever……

Gone are the ages where love marriages were a taboo

Gone are the ages where expression of love PDA is a big no no

Gone are the ages where marriage itself would happen for all…ever & ever….

Talking about love marriages in our present day lives,in our country India, is something so far out of realization and a  reckoning issue, atleast for people living in the metropolitan cities. Many of them, have the courage may be for the sake of love or may be not, they have that urge to climb up the hill. Youth of today, bravo, they are conscious and very much alert of their own life and are quite capable of themselves to take decisions on their own.

Sometimes, as parents it would be best for them to fulfill their wishes and stand-by them or else, as I said, youth of today are very well equipped with ideas which might be wild and are rebellious too. Be it a girl or boy, they are brilliantly bright enough to know when and how to find their life partners. But its always best to have your parents blessing ( not just because its the Indian tradition and culture), but because it counts a lot more for someone who has learnt the value of a family. And today the sources to find one, are plenty like the fish in the sea….Stretch your fishing rod, expose a tint of the bait and that’s all, may be a matter of few great trials, but one (be it boy or girl) is sure to fetch a fish with all your wanted priorities if you have done your homework right. And mind us all, the truth of the century is that, guys and girls are prone to frivolous laid down business for pleasure sake. And amidst all this marriages that happen which are love or arranged have a fate of their own.

The tricky thing amidst all these affairs that blooms up is the word that lingers in everyone’s mind -LOVE. Love, a beautifully inexplicable word with a million different expressions and meanings that are  vast like an ocean and the way it acts on people makes each one of us do things we are totally unaware of…but the beauty is that there is a pleasant bliss to the word Love .May not be the case for everyone, because now-a-days love , to be honest, only god knows, how far have all of us have come , to know whether really love exists in all its purity even today.Life is fast, so are the changing shades of love….

So be it arranged or love, marriage is an institution that is build in the world of love. And its upto the two companions who join the institution who should be able take the decision of how to carry a life that’s so much hectic in one-way for all of us. Love that happens is purely based on the understanding between the two partners.

In love marriages, from what’s seen so far,  couples who were madly in love until they got married,  might not make it really that far once married, because of the load of expectations, the baggage of overload of emotions they carried without all the proper understanding that may have led them to take a decision to settle down with each other in such haste might not actually turn positive all the time for all of them. But its eventually not the case for all the lovey-dowey couples.And when a split happens, either of them are so hesitant or you may say they are so literally vulnerable, because they end up thinking they took a wrong decision, such a  major thing in their life and they thought it would go on for years, but all that sparkles weren’t actually all that glittery because the basic foundation of understanding between the two may not have been upto the mark which is why they ended up where they were. And that’s where the parents play the role, to provide them the shelter, to bond with them , to support them and to provide them warmth, the friendship that they missed having all those years when their kid failed to understand the preciousness of their love. Well again, this may not be the case for all the love cases, because at the end of the day the emotions that love carries in a relation goes through all the small pickle-head fights, cute love show gestures, undeniable & uncontrollable PDA expressions and if you possess that proper mentally matured handling ability of any situation you are a winner in your game of love, and as a result of which your marriage also will be a success.Its literally associated with managing a management in pretty much ways . As writing it was so simple to say these , but to put it in action isn’t so easy as it seems.

Speaking of arranged marriages, one has to be fortunate to end up with the right choice. Not to deny there are still  plenty of folks out there who are willing to go the Indian tradition way of settling for arranged marriages. Its not an easy game, it depends on luck. Sometimes that also may work or may not. The one good part in this case is that, it goes as per the parents wish and speaking from their point of view, its their right as parents who have literally seen their kids grow up and seen them as a child and it would be their dream to get their children married . And when something unfortunate happens, the parents would be more obliged to rescue and  support their children.

So speaking on an expansive note, be it love marriage or arranged marriage, coin can flip both sides and turn out to be success or failure and ultimately it all depends on luck that favours you. If you are lucky, love can teach you some of the most beautiful things in life and make you do as well apart from all the fantasy filled world it generates beyond your limitations but the criteria for that to happen to you  depends upon the Luck factor, which decides whether it is to shine bright on you or just suck the entire light off from like a black-hole.

For my point of view, on a personal perspective, why not a guy or girl have the right to choose a partner of their own and have a marriage with the consent of the parents( which may not be approval of the same all the time) but arranged marriages have the sanctity that happens in front of the parents and lets not forget them in one of the most important event in one’s life. Having love-cum-arranged marriages is actually a fabulous idea where an entire family stays happy .And that is also a trend now-a-days. Oh yes, there is a trend for the marriages that happen in India.

Be it love marriage or arranged marriage, the intricacies and the repercussions that follow like mental, physical traumas, dowry factor harassments ( particularly in cases of arranged marriages), loss of independency of one’s life, constant triggering of troubles with  in-law departments can all lead to divorce and the era of discovery of the most illicit, horrifying, ridiculous scandalous extra-affairs that happens in the current society are some great hazards that can cripple the major pillars of a marriage institution. These are things that still are prevailing in our Indian society , sadly and not so unbelievably. Then about the cheating policies by some great decently innocent looking fanatics & lunatics who marry of girls and extract the maximum that’s possible after all what they have been able to, is something that happens to one’s in love or arranged affairs.

Speaking about attitude of the youth of present,there’s another lot of majority that favour the fondness of friendship that evolves into something that’s sometimes merely labelled as love and in the name of love that they feel it is, sometimes there’s a preference , an eagerness to explore stuffs , which exists for a certain lot and for that particular sector of youth marriage is something that they don’t mind going for a well-profiled proposal that comes their way if it is to compromise something that the friendship may have plucked a flower or not,who cares. And lets not close our eyes on the growing generation who prefer the taste of live-in relationships before trying out the idea of marriage and some of whom, among the present youth would like to adopt the idea of not marrying at all. Live life independently, is the policy. There is no harm in that and its totally one’s own priority and as the season changes, we might be able to witness some unbelievable but sinkable notions and twisting tales of love. Save it guys…save it….and hope lets not have the chance to embrace it. Because honestly, that’s not how many of us, atleast people who think like me, who think of Indian marriage as sacred, as a tradition that’s part of our culture, who believes that marriage is truly an institution that holds its holiness to all its extent if love holds the companionship together in the matrimony.

Finally, before winding up, as I kept recurring be it love marriage or arranged marriage , both have all the advantages and disadvantages but can be met and fought with all the challenges if the word -love happens to both people in a relation which happens only if there is a complete understanding. At the end of the day, life is a compromise. Be open to love and be honest to love and understand the beauty of love. One is sure to take the right decision.

       But on a personal note, I will always favour arranged marriage, probably because I got what I wanted and I have what I have always wished and wanted….and hope the coming generation will find the same in the true Indian way because we all have it in us, to be unique. 


4 thoughts on “Love or Arranged : Its all arranged by Him

  1. Haricharan

    Is that experience speaking or sheer understanding of the universal feeling called love 🙂 I agree with you, with love, especially pre-marriage, we are so engrossed in each other with expectations and emotionally attached, everything changes drastically post-marriage.

Thanx for sharing the pleasure of reading my writing.Care to write something -

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